The Best You...

After what for some has been a stressful and challanging week, I'm hoping that this finds all of you in a better frame of mind and ready to move forward. There's been far too much hate and discontent of late...and not just with the election stuff.

As adults, most of us have had to learn how to deal with thwarted goals, delayed plans and things that (from our perspective) have just been difficult to accept. It's part of life. Fair is a word that generally only applies in sporting events...in life, you win or you learn. For me, there has never been a lose.

Difficulties? Yep. Set backs? Gawd...too many to count! But you know what? I'm still here. Still. here. That's what really matters my friends...because the reality is one day, no matter what... we won't be.

Each of us experiences heartache, pain and loss. How we deal with these things is a matter of attitude. Pure and simple... it's one of the reasons that we must cultivate and cherish those folks that inspire and ecourage us. We all need a hand getting up once in a while.

As individuals, I also believe that you must learn to keep an open mind (and heart) to those whom disagree with you. I'm not talking about the caustic and the hateful here...I'm not advocating wasting precious time on those that cannot discuss without name calling and finger pointing BUT I am saying to give yourself permission to LISTEN and decide on what's best for you.

It's ok to say no. To agree to disagree and move on. If this past few years has taught me nothing else, it has shown me that I need not agree with you to respect you. The world would be a truly boring place if we all thought exactly the same...we need that diversity...that diferent perspective. Some of my closest friends have widely different world views than I. Our lives journeys have been unparralled and so we see things from altered viewpoints.

It can be maddening...but it's also usually refreshing. Teachable moments are something we should treasure and pass along. Not all knowledge is in books and matters of the heart mean little if not shared. If you have friends...true ones...not likes...not those folks that you nod at in passing, tell them what they mean to you, include them and make time for them because you never know what tomorrow may bring.

Like you all, I've lost friends and family. Some came home, draped beneath our nations flag...for those, I remember my oath.

This is our time...what we choose to do with it is up to us. SO...I thank each of you for your support...your time and effort to help others. What I challenge ALL of you to do (including myself!) is to be a brighter beacon. Work towards and FOR those things that inspire you or that you desire to see a change in! Be it fitness, health or social and political change...DO SOMETHING POSITIVE to make it a reality.

Be responsible and accountable...blaming others is always the easiest path and when looked at truthfully, it's usually the falsest one as well. Some things are beyond our control...like my honey's cancer...I hate it.

 I can't change it and that makes me hate it even more...but if I refuse to accept it will it change the reality? No...not one damn bit. What I can do...what I strive to do...is to make each day as full and as rewarding as possible for both of us. Be positive. Be involved. Honey shares this experience with others that are struggling to cope. It's hard...sometimes overwhelmingly so...she does it anyway.

Do I agree? Hell no...but I am inspired...and sometimes a little daunted.

I hope this finds each of you enjoying the weekend and your friends and families. We're all pulled in mutilple directions every day...remember to make time to work on being the best version of YOU that you can be!

Valentines...or the lack thereof

The upcoming holiday has always been something that both bumused and annoyed me. What began as a Roman ritual for virility, was later named for a Christian martyr in the 5th century. So yeah...it's been around a while. Now days, it's a billion dollar commercial event that can cause stress or elation in equal measure, dependent on your particular perspective.

The annoying part for me is the social expectation to celebrate the love of your life on this day. Shouldn't we be doing that every day? I would think that the person most important to you would be worthy of acknowledgment more than once a year but hey, that's just me! While I have no issues with treating your significant other to a 'special' day out or a gift for no particular reason, I DO have a problem with designating a time and place. What's romantic about that? Where's the delight in discovering an unexspected surprise or treat?

The truly bumusing aspect is how many couples, young and old that allow this scheduled event to define their relationships! I've worked with folks that have had some truly horrific battles over percieved failures in demonstrating their 'feelings' on this day. As a former police officer, I dreaded the inevetabile domestic calls and epic arguments. As in all things, there's the good as well. Proposals, well thought out trips and extraordinary dates and successful nights out together or as a family. I just think that by and large, the vast majority of us have become insensate. Which makes this celebration of love, mediocre at best.

So...you want romance? Try this. Take the time each day to really talk to one another. Listen. LOOK the love of your life in the eye and sincerely care about what they're conveying to you. Tell them consistenly and often that you love them. Hold their hands, wrap them in a hug and kiss them. None of us know, when we walk out that door each day, what will happen. It could be the last time you ever see that person. Happens all the time. Don't wait. Don't leave any doubt or room for regrets. LOVE them each and every day like it could be the last day!

If you each really put the other first, you BOTH win...each and every time. Don't get a Valentine...BE a Valentine. Treasure that which you hold most dear and remember that no matter your status, we are each equal in not knowing the number of our days. 

Life Support

The challenge of the blank screen or page is something that we as writers face each and every time we sit down to begin a project. At times the words seem to flow effortlessly and when they do, that feeling of creation is a heady thing indeed.

Unfortunately that isn't always the case...for whatever reason, there inevitably will be a time when we struggle to keep our writing schedules or feel uninspired. Then that blinking cursor or the empty page are not only daunting but can seem insurmountable. We falter...questioning our abilities and our chosen path. Is this story worth telling? Am I doing it right?
The nothingness reflects like a mirror and the longer you stare the greater the void  becomes...the hiss of air escaping into the cold vacuum of space, would almost be comforting. Shuddering, we close the window and redirect our attention and in that moment our nemesis grins.

Is it over? It shouldn't be...not if this solitary profession is something you believe in! As writers, it's our JOB to overcome such challenges; to fight with our intellect and will. To mold that barren wasteland into something interesting and believable for others to see and appreciate. Creator of worlds and the shaper of destiny...not a bad job title, eh?

Writers, for the most part work alone and therein lies the biggest part of the problem. If you don't know why you're stuck or even if you DO, finding the solution on your own is akin to solving a rubics cube while juggling vials of hydrochloric acid and taking a polygraph. Sure, you can do it but there's gonna be scar's!

Having a support group of like minded folks is not only important but vital to keeping the muse in an agreeable mood. Spending the time and effort needed in finding a writiers group in your area that is positive and encouraging, will likely make the aformentioned task seem like childsplay but it's worth it!

Having a trusted group that will listen to and understand your frustrations and concerns is like having a team of crack EMS personnel at you disposal. Use them. More importantly, be there to lend a helpful hand of your own to a colleague in their time of need.

Tis A Reason

With the holiday season past, we look forward to the upcoming year with hope and optimism. Like most folks, I tend to reflect on the past year and weigh victories and defeats. It's a part of the human condition. What we mustn't do and what I am struggling to rectify in my own behavior is simply this...We CANNOT and SHOULD not accept ties! 

In our relationships and our professions, tying is the realization of "good enough!"As a writer this past year I've done several pieces that while acceptable, I KNEW weren't of a caliber that I was capable of.  I settled for "good enough." Shameful and ultimately; lazy.  Oh I have all the standard excuses...work pressures, family issues, personal problems, ect. but it boils down to this...I shrugged it off and let it slide because it was EASIER! 

We all need a reason for the things that we do...be it working, playing or writing. We justify the time, money and effort spent in each of these endeavors, allocating resources as we deem fit. Most often we place markers on our efforts by the tangable returns we see...in most instances this is indeed a valuable and time tested methodology. In matters of the heart and in our authoring expenditures however, it can be fool hardy.

As authors we work on projects and pour an enormous amount of time and effort into them. At SOME point, we DO have to send these works into the world and allow the readers to evaluate them. That's what story telling is all about, isn't it? We WILL be rejected by some and accepted by others. It is a part of the process, BUT we need to honestly evaluate the feedback we're given to improve our craft and hone our own abilities. More importantly, we need to commit ourselves to a dedicated schedule of writing, research and tradecraft that will consistently raise our personal standards. 

Failure is completely acceptable IF we've given our best in the effort. If we truly do THAT, failing is simply a strength building exercise for our next attempt! This applies in our writing and our life. To me, reaching a place of comfort where I'm willing to settle and say this is 'good enough' means I've acccepted that I can get no better and do no more. To ME...striving for the next level, PUSHING past the plateau is what life is all about! Digging deeper into the complexities of the human condition and ourselves is what enriches our experiences and widens our horizons...apply THAT to your WRITING and well...let's just say, tis the reason. 

A Day Of Thanks...

On this day each year, we as a nation gather in celebration, to enjoy a meal and give thanks to the many blessing bestowed upon us. For most, it's a day of overindulgence and laughter, intersected with naps and shopping. Our hearts are lighter and we give more freely of our time and resources. All of which are good and necessary things. I am thankful for my family, friends and employment.

For others, this day will serve as a reminder...of failed adventures and unachieved goals. It will be a harbringer of stress and anxiety, another dark streak in a season filled with depression.With nearly eight million US citizens unemployed and of that portion;  690,000 of those folks are homeless. It's easy to see that our nation as a whole, has work to do. I am thankful for the volunteers that strive to combat the hungry and the destitute.

As always, there are uniformed men and woman both here and abroad, sacrificing their time with loved ones to protect our way of life and our freedoms. They willingly place themselves in harms way to safeguard our streets and borders every hour of every day. For all of them, I am especially thankful.

On this day we give thanks...to our forebears for their vision and willingness to forge a new nation. For all the small things...the laughter of a child, the warmth of a hug and the laughter of family and friends; we are grateful.

It is my intention to remember each of these, not just on this day but every day. To be humble and grateful for that which we take for granted. Shelter, food in abundance and the love of a spouse and health...for all that we give such little thought too...I am thankful.

One Sided Tolerance

This morning as I watch the stories coming in from Paris, I am sad and sickened but yet another senseless act of violence. My heart goes out to the people of Paris and their families. There are always a variety of opinions with such tradgedies but the one that mystifies me is the disclaimer I keep seeing attached to this one.

The repeated calls for 'tolerance' as applied to the Islamic refugees and the opening of our borders to them. Do I believe all the refugees are terrorist? No, of course not. Are there extremist using them as cover? I'd say that's a pretty safe bet.
Are they Muslim? Foolish question...yes, they are. So WHY are so many folks afraid to say so? Denying a thing because it isn't politically correct is madness. These terrorist ARE Muslim extremist and yes, that's a perversion of the religion but that doesn't change the facts.

This is not a call to hate Muslims. Hating all Muslims for the acts of terrorist is akin to hating all Christians for the actions of the Westboro church. Madness...plain and simple. BUT...

There is NO WAY to reliably weed out the fanatics from the victims. If anyone can give me a realistic way to do so, I'd be delighted to hear it. I'm not saying that we shouldn't help, but I AM saying that bringing unknown elements into our country is foolhardy. Camps could be established with no fly zones in their own country. Help with shelter, medicene and food are realistic and achievable goals. Security matters could (and SHOULD) be given to their own countrymen, who could be trained by NATO forces if need be. Once established, those wishing to enter other nations could do so through the establised processes already in place. Seems like common sense to me...

As a nation, we are known for our tolerance. Its part of what draws folks here and makes this country so great. Lately, it seems that we've been beat over the head with what MUST be excepted, least we be described as bigoted or racist. Standing for the very beliefs on which this country was founded are called outdated and old fashioned. Christians are ridiculed as are those speaking out for what they belief are traditional morals. Common sense has been caste aside in favor of the ridiculous. If the majority MUST respect the opinions of the few, why then is that respect not reciprocated?

Would you go to another country and demand that they speak your language, adhere to your religious viewpoint and enact your birth countries customs and laws? If so...then WHY did you leave that nation in the first place? Curious...is it not?

My point is simply this...their have ALWAYS been those who will not only use tragedies to their advantage, they'll figure out a way to profit from it. Such is the darker side of the human condtion but when is enough, ENOUGH?
How many innocents do we sacrifice in the name of blind belief? The belief that prayer or a better ideology will change the minds of extremist and that they'll suddenly join hands and sing Kum-By-Yah is foolish and simple minded. That hasn't EVER worked in the history of mankind. Not once. Period.

There's no reasoning with such mindsets. They can't be bought or rehabilitated. They don't care who they hurt, whether it's women or children makes no difference. If something is rabid you have two choices...put it down or leave it be...and if you ignore it and it kills, infects and destroys everything in its path before it implodes, are you too; responsible?
In my minds eye... yes, you are.

In this age of unaccountability, the shrug and eye roll seem perfectly acceptable as answers for most folks. Perhahps I've reached the age where being flexible has become something I abhor. We ignore the homeless, the struggling vets, the hungry and helpless in our own country.
We applaud lawlessness and rioting in the name of equality while promoting a disregard for authority and a lack of respect for decency and common sense.
A growing number of our countrymen are becoming more dependent on handouts and fewer than ever are willing to work hard for the American dream. Maybe that's a part of the reason that so much of the chaos in the world is deemed...normal.

Have we lost the ability to separate real evil from the mediocre? I want to believe that we as a nation aren't to far gone. That the majority still believe in the core priciples that founded this great country. I want to beleive that the majority has been silent...quietly hoping for change. The time for quiet acceptance is over. If you are one of the silent majority, its time to stand...peaceably and in a dignified manner.

Common sense. Dignity. Justice for all. Those words need to be understood by ALL. No one group should have the ability or right to ride herd over the majority when the basic idea makes NO SENSE. It must be reasonable and realistic. Trashing the rights of hundreds for the perceived right of the one is ludicrous...and it's in the news nearly every day.

For our leadership to pretend this isn't a global issue and to hamstring our professional soldiers in carrying out their missions isn't just criminally negligent, its disgraceful. By most accounts, our current leadership has gotten rid of more high ranking officers than any CIC in history. More than a little unsettling with the current state of the worlds affairs in my mind. If we can't trust our leadership to act in good faith with the wishes of the majority and to follow the rules, then we the people need to demand a change.

Don't wait for the upcoming elections. Make your voice HEARD to your elected officials! The time for silent indifference to important choices is over. As the debates rage over the xenophobic intolerance of western nations, I pose this simple question.  WHERE are the muslim majority that I keep hearing about that oppose the atrocities of radical extremist?

When a moment of silence was asked for at a soccer game in Turkey (our allies) for the victims of the Paris attacks, the crowd BOO'D and chanted Allah Akbar! REALLY? These weren't fanatics or terrorist but they couldn't even show a mutual moment of respect for innocent lives lost?

That is what I would call disgraceful. Disrespectful. Bewildering. And yet it wasn't on the mainstream news outlets...a gathering in Paris of muslim's speaking out against terrorism, a country with a population of FIVE MILLION muslims, drew a whooping THIRTY people. How is that possible? Once more...no news coverage.

IF the Islamic community remains silent in its opposition to such attacks AND cannot even show a single moment of solidarity as a whole, I wonder how then they can expect there to be any other viewpoints than fear and suspicion.

It's a complex issue and there aren't any easy answers but blindly rushing headlong into a wall, ignoring the obvious hasn't worked well so far. Do the research. Make INFORMED and rational decisions and MOST importantly, be involved in your communities and with your elected state and federal representatives. If they aren't doing the jobs they were elected for, it's OUR responsibility and duty to see that changed.

The One Percent

On this day we reflect on those who serve our nation, past and present; both men and women who volunteer to be in harms way. Nearly all of them are young. Sons and daughters with little world experience but with an unyielding desire to push their limitations and test themselves in a way most others wouldn't dream of.

They don't do it for the money. It pays very little. The reasons are as varied as the individuals themselves. For some, its a family tradition spanning decades. For others theres a hole...a void that cries out, waiting to be filled. They want to make a difference. Most couldn't tell you why or even what they believe that difference to be...but they hear the call. More importantly, they act on it.

One percent...that's the amount of our population that serve. The number that runs toward danger instead of away. The few that are willing to sacrifice everything, time with their families and loved ones, even their very lives to complete complex task decided far beyond their ability to influence.

They swear an oath...an allegience to the country and its people and they keep those promises. The sad reality is that those making such decisions rarely expose themselves to such risk. Sadder still, we as a nation have failed to fulfill the promises made to them by our elected leaders and we as a people haven't held those folks accountable.

In each generation there are conflicts, global missions undertaken that inevitably cost lives. The cost of freedom is high...it has always been and shall continue to be paid for with the blood of patriots. Whether they perish in training or on the battlefield is irrelevant. The cost remains the same.

It is difficult to understand such mindsets without having experienced it yourself. Your compatriots are not simply coworkers. They become your brothers, your sisters, your family. Bonds formed under such extremes last a lifetime and for those of us separated by time and distance, the ache never truly leaves.

So I would ask, for my brothers...for my sisters in arms, if you will, do not simply thank them for their service on this single day. I ask that you remain vigilant, that you safeguard those freedoms so painfully earned. Hold our leaders to the same moral and ethical standards that we have sworn to today and long ago.

For the vanguards, those who choose to make a career of sacrifice, duty and honor, I salute and thank you. For all who have and do serve, I am proud to be counted among that one percent.