Saturday, May 18, 2013

Sick.....AND tired!

We've all been ill at one time or another...colds, flu, allergies....You name it and most folks deal with it from time to time. Generally, I'm fortunate...I'm rarely sick more than a day or two and usually its just allergies or a head cold. Annoying...inconvenient for sure, but manageable.
This past few weeks I've had the karmic equivalent of a kick in the pants for my years of good fortune. A cold, followed by the flu and topped off with a sinus infection...Gawd. 
   Am I whining? No. Well, maybe a little...(honey say's A LOT!) Which prompted me to write about the differences between men and women when we're ill. When honey (my wonderful wife) is sick, she usually takes short naps and does task in micro burst. She only goes to the doctor as a last resort as she's a fitness/health fanatic. Her mood is dampened but rarely is she short tempered or out of sorts. A dainty little cough...."ahack...hack." A red, irritated nose...actually kindia cute.
ME on the other hand, after two days with the flu....
A waste basket full of crumpled tissue and an end table littered with prescription drugs and over the counter remedies are within arms reach of the couch, where I lay swaddled with blankets, the powerful aroma of Vick's permeating the air around me.
Spitting and hacking disgusting globs of goo into the basket makes my honey cringe. Moaning, I plop back down, resuming my bear like slumber as honey mumbles.
                   "That's SO gross! You're making me nauseous!"
Harrumphing, I drag my blankey over my head, croaking.
                 "Will you rub some more Vick's on my chest?"
Rolling her eyes, (I can FEEL it!) honey sighs, replying.
                 "Yes, dear."
Uncovering my head as she reaches me, I say.
                 "And bring me some 7-up?"
Suppressing another eye roll, she reverse course to the kitchen for my drink. Handing me the glass, I sip before handing it back to her with a groan.
                 "Now the Vick's?"
Nodding, honey smears the axle grease-like concoction onto my chest. I ask her.
                 "Sing soft kitty to me?"
Scowling, honey replies.
                  "Absolutely not."
Giving her my best puppy dog look, I plead.
                  "But I'm sick!"
Smiling slightly and rubbing my head, honey answers.
                  "You are...and apparently deranged. Maybe we should check that fever again!"
College girls....To her credit, honey put up with my demands for a solid week ( I only missed two days of work) before threatening to bunk me with our dog. I grudgingly scaled back the sniveling after that...well...some anyway!
So are women tougher than men when it comes to being sick? I dunno. I think us guys just wanna be...pampered a bit more. What's wrong with that? :o) Besides, my traitorous dog snarled at me when I tried to crawl into his bed....Selfish animal!

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