The Brilliance of Fall....
I spent this past weekend trying to
enjoy the vibrant colors of the season. The radiant hues of reds,
oranges and yellows are in full display. Honey always loved the
colors if not the season. She was a sunshine person...as many folks
are. I like the crisp air and the change of season...usually.
I'm coming to the realization that this
year is going to be a season of many first...bittersweet and painful.
I drove around the Iowa countryside, alternating between awestruck
and melancholy. I missed having her hand in mine...in looking over to
see her smile. Honey loved Thanksgiving and both preparing the meal
and the gathering of family. There will be neither this year...I also
learned that my eldest son's six year relationship actually ended
last year. They both kept this from us to spare our feelings and were
quite mature about everything.
I feel bad about not noticing and that
he shouldered this burden alone...but I understand their decision. I
do wonder where he learned to be so hard headed? :o)
A dear friend bought me a journal and
I've been writing in it. Venting and random thoughts that I could
never post publicly. It's helping...another introduced a new variety
of music and this too has been a blessing. So many kind words of
encouragement and sentiments of caring...from people both near and
far. All of which keep me moving forward, however grudgingly that may
be.
Thank you. Each and every one of
you...for sharing your strength and light.
There is a season for all things...we
all pass through them regardless of our wishes or desires. The timing
is almost never of our choosing and even when it is, there are no
perfect transitions. There will be pain and sorrow, regrets and
dreams unrealized. Nature strives for balance...as should we. Take
the time to make those memories and fulfill those dreams, because
tomorrow isn't promised for any of us. Find that balance. Worry less
about the stuff and more about the time spent with those you hold
dear.
It doesn't take money, for I would give
all I have for five more minutes...to hold her...kiss her and run my
fingers through her hair. The simplest of things...the shared
laughter, the hugs. Lazy mornings and stolen moments...those are the
colors of life. The brilliance of balance...of living with a lover
and best friend. Whatever your joy is, embrace it and pursue those
adventures you desire, hand in hand. Be silly, be vocal and never
leave room for doubt...enjoy each and every season as if it were your
last. Only the memories will endure in the end.
As for myself, I will take these next
months day by day. I have nine working days until my first surgery,
which will be November the 9th. The second is scheduled
for the 16th. I see the finger doctor this Wednesday and
should be released for surgery. My surgeon wants to do his own
inspection the 30th along with another pre-op physical.
Baring the unforeseen, I'll begin the prep work two days after
that...my original plans of driving to see the kids for Christmas
won't be doable. Hopefully after the first of the year, I'll be
released for travel...six weeks is the target number. It will be
challenging both physically and mentally but it'll also fulfill the
first of my promises dear.
I've no idea what 2018 has in store...
I can only hope to keep my heart open to the changing of the seasons.
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